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Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Farts

Hmmmm.. Have no idea what to blog about so I shall blog about how bloated I have been for the past few days. No idea what I ate to create so much gas. I have a rough suspicion that it's the golden mushroom and white button mushroom cooked by me in butter and garlic that caused it. It is edible and extremely delicious okay?

If you must know, I have been farting non stop for the past few days. More than I ever did in a year. I swear I'm not joking about it. I feel like an odourless toxic gas producing machine. Only once did the fart stink like mad and I proudly announce that I gave the full blast of it right in SMBF's face. Payback time!

Muahahahahaha!

If you think I'm mean then please think again. This 1 small fart I gave him is not even enough to pay him off 1% of what he gave to me. So far, this is like the 2nd time I let him smell stinky farts throughout our relationship. He does it to me so often that I wanna just shove something up his ass to make him feel pain. He even do it to my poor baby Naomi when she is asleep okay? As he so very buay paiseh confess to me de hor. So you see! We are the victims, NOT HIM!

Very kns lor. So bloody rude and inconsiderate lah! Don't tell me cannot control okay? That's bullshit! You jolly well know it's coming and have time to run away from your loved ones before you explode. If any of you out there can't control your fart, please go see a doctor. You probably have some uncontrollable farting syndrome that requires professional help.

Just stop fucking traumatizing your loved ones!

If it's possible, I would love to shove an oxygen tank up his ass and store all his stinky farts into the tank then make him smell his own fart with an oxygen mask glued to his face. He will not be able to take off the mask until the oxygen or should I say fart tank is empty. That will teach him not to anyhow let off toxic gas when others are around especially me and Naomi.

Anyway, tomorrow is his birthday. Can't afford to buy him a gift since I'm jobless. I shall compensate by being extra nice to him for tomorrow only. I will be nice by not insulting him, not calling him an idiot, not rolling my eyes and shout at him etc etc etc..

Wow! There are so much more but I lazy to type out liao. I think I am rather mean to him leh. But it's okay lah. I know he enjoys it. It makes him smile the whole day. He can't live without it. He loves getting the insults as much as I love throwing insults at him. That's what make us such a happy couple.

I just love living in self denial. =) Wahahahahahaha!

Abrupt end of blog post because pooping feeling is strong af.


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Little Angels

Had this sudden thought while looking at Naomi sleep last night. Ain't kids really cute and angelic when they are asleep? It's the only time they ain't making us angry with their antics and making us love them so much more. Then all we will want to do is to keep kissing their faces when they are sleeping.

Isn't she adorable when she's asleep? So peaceful. My little angel. Loves! <3

Personally, I like to plant my kisses all over Naomi when she is asleep and slobber all over her. Hahaha. It's a tad irritating to her I think because she will always fidget here and there then struggle to move away everytime I do that.

At least I'm better than SMBF who does stupid things like lifting her arms then letting it free fall many many times. Each time with him making silly giggling sounds when her arm falls. That 1 more irritating la. Yet I hate it when she have no reaction when he does that to her yet will move away when I kiss her. Grrrrrrrr..

I wonder if I also look angelic when I'm asleep that SMBF would want to plant kisses on my face? I think not. I probably look constipated from lack of sleep due to having incessant snores sounding like a train going past my ear every second of my life. I feel like cutting his nose off.

I don't know man. Is it just me or are all mothers like this? Maybe I'm a perverted mummy. Hehe. I also love to smack and squeeze her buttocks cause they so firm and bouncy la! DOINK DOINK! I will just smack for no reason at all just to hear the sound her buttock makes. Till this day, she does not allow me to stand or even walk behind her for fear of me doing the perverted act.

KUA KUA KUA!

Omg! I am a perverted mummy and I sincerely believe I am not alone. All perverted mummies speak up leh. I'm speaking of perverted in a joking manner. I do not condone real, serious, sick perverts. If you rape your own son or ever have the thought of raping them. Please do not talk to me. I'm not interested in your sick ways of life. F**k off yo!

End of random bo liao post.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Royal Caribbean Cruise - Mariner Of The Seas Day 4

Finally, the end of the entry of my experience on The Royal Caribbean Cruise - Mariner Of The Seas as there is nothing to talk about Day 5. It is simply the day the ship docks back to Singapore and you gotta get down the ship by 8.45am. That is if you don't use their service of assisting you to move your luggage down.

If you are really that lazy or wanna stay in the ship longer though there are no entertainments left, you can use their service. All you have to do, is to tie a tag to your luggage that they provided in your room the night before onto your luggage and leave your luggage out at the corridor before 10pm. Take note of the number on the tag as that will be the number they call when it's your turn to get down the ship. Obviously, I chose to carry my own luggage down.

I forgot to mention that I actually saw my friend Soh Hong Wei onboard the ship during lunch despite so many thousands of people there. Can someone say coincidence? He was there with his girlfriend. So sneaky fellow lor he. Got girlfriend liao also never tell me sia.

So anyway, back to day 4. This is the day we are travelling back to Singapore, so we are all trapped onboard the ship to explore more. There isn't much photos for today except for the night though there is 1 really beautiful one I would like to share. It was taken from the balcony of my room.

Isn't it pretty? Look at the sparkles! I swear I didn't use photoshop cause I don't know how.

So today we explored and found out that in even higher decks of the ship, there are many fun activities you can do too. Kinda regretted not exploring earlier. They actually have a basketball court, mini golf course and tables for playing table tennis on 1 whole level. You can do rock climbing on another level up.

There are 2 air conditioned rooms at another level just next to a bar. 1 is a room where they provide all sorts of board games for families to play with and also poker cards. Another room consist of mahjong tables! Normal tables and automated tables yo! But for the mahjong room, you need to pay to rent the tables. If I remember correctly, it cost like 30USD for the normal tables and 45USD for the automated tables for like 2 hours? Correct me if I'm wrong.

As I mentioned previously, we are typical stingy Singaporeans so obviously we didn't rent the tables though we are sorely tempted. There was some sort of sale going on at deck 11. Watches at the usual price of 60USD is going at 25USD. Grace, CK and mom all bought a set for themselves. I had a wonderful and nice watch for my birthday from my beloved SMBF already so I didn't buy any.

We went for a swim again this time with the whole family with the exception of my dad. He chose to sit in a corner and listen to his MP3. Spoilsport. Did I mention? There is a huge ass screen on top of the swimming pool deck. Everyday at certain timing, they play a movie. Each day is a different 1 but same for that day. You can actually come up to watch the movie under the stars on those beach chairs they provide. Can lie down comfortably and watch movie or you can choose to soak yourself in the jacuzzi while watching the movie. Like shiok la!

I also like for a fact that there are no handphone signal onboard the ship so you don't get distracted by phones unless you wanna purchase their wifi onboard everyday for a ridiculously disgusting amount.

So, we slack around till it was time for dinner. We had a surprise this evening for we are celebrating Dylan and Naomi's birthday which is the purpose of this trip.




 Us camwhoring in our room before dinner. Bought my dress in Phuket. Very comfy!

 Going crazy with happiness in her princess dress

 Our dinner menu

 New England Clam Chowder


 Pan-Seared Sea Scallops. I had like 3 servings of this!

 Rosemary Lamb Shank

 Lasagna Al Forno

 Garlic Tiger Shrimp. I love prawns especially with garlic!

 Dessert menu


 Tiramisu

There was some performance by the waiters this evening. Singing and dancing. I can't seem to find the photos for that. Really not easy to do their job. Must serve must perform. I really admire their passion and commitment for their jobs. RESPECT! They provided 2 slices of cake for Dylan and Naomi. A few of the waiters and waitress came over together with the captain Ms Veronica and sang birthday songs for them! Again, I can't seem to find the photos. 


 Group photo with our very friendly and service committed waiters Mr. Osman and Mr. Evarestus. Thank you so much for making us feel so pampered and for making our trip so enjoyable!

Oh yeah! You are allowed to give them extra tips even though your trip amount already includes the gratuities. There will be an envelope given to in your room. You can write their name on it, put in the cash and pass it to them personally. I tell you. Their service is so good that you can't help giving them extras.





This time it's an elephant! Really cute la! You all should see Naomi's reaction. She was so happy she kept jumping around.

We didn't really spend much onboard except for me buying a Mariner Of The Seas cap and an authentic Michael Kors sunglass that still cost me a bomb though at half price. SMBF bought a lego set model of the ship.

And we come to and end of the trip. End of Day 4!

p/s: I mentioned that I demanded a free trip as compensation on my previous post for the screw up in Phuket. I was joking about it but admittedly, we were unhappy after we heard from friends who went before and after us that they all stopped at Patong Beach except us! Why us?

Royal Caribbean zuo mo ni jiang bad de? We suffered unnecessary injuries and distress sia. Overall, we still did enjoy very much on this trip la. I give you a 8/10 due to the Phuket incident. I hope the next time I go for a holiday on your ship again I would be able to give you a 10/10. =)

Monday, November 21, 2016

Royal Caribbean Cruise - Mariner Of The Seas Day 3

If there is anything I am unhappy about this trip, it's when we dock at Phuket. Everything went downhill from this day. Shall explain more further down the post.

Everyone of us was super excited about this day because we finally arrived at Phuket. All of us thought about arriving at Patong Beach, getting a tan and having fun with all the water sports they have there but little did we know the horrors that await us.

In the morning, we went to queue for tender tickets. It's to help facilitate the crowd smoothly to the smaller boats that will carry us towards the dock instead of having everyone crowd at that area. Only those that signed up for their excursions onboard the ship will get to go down without getting a ticket. The excursion cost like 100USD per person. Anyway, we got number 21 and so we wait.

We went up for breakfast then stayed around public area to listen for the announcements of the number called. You can't hear the announcement in your room. It was only until about 1pm plus that our number is being called. So we proceed down to take the small boat.








There will be no more photos from here on until dinner time because we did not dock Patong Beach. According to them, the weather wasn't very good therefore they are unable to cruise to and dock at Patong Beach.

I don't know what the hell they are talking about. The weather looks mighty fine to me. A perfect day to be at the beach. Instead, we dock at some ulu Phuket Port which caused me seriously major disappointments. So, I recommend those who are going on this cruise to check out where you are 1st before getting down the ship.

Once we step out of the port, a bunch of bloodsuckers came towards us and try to get us to use their mini van services to go out either for shopping or visit their farms. It cost $3000 Baht which is like SGD$120 for all of us to rent their van to and fro but as we have limited timing since we arrived pretty late and also being the typical stingy Singaporeans we are, we refused to get our heads chopped by them.

We decided to stay around that area and walk around the stores they have there like our local pasar malams. As the roads there are full of mini vans, cabs and big ass vehicles, we had to walk into the very inner side of the road where all the stores are. We walk along and kept seeing silly angmohs getting chopped yet still claim very cheap! They pay USD somemore lor. Siao one. Too rich liao.

My dad having recce the area ahead of us informed us that there is a 7-11 ahead and some eateries beside it so we decided to have our lunch there. While walking along, Dylan kept pestering Grace to carry him but she couldn't as she was having a backache and so I told SMBF to carry Dylan instead.

Shortly after, the worst senario happened. As all of us were walking in front, none of us really saw what happened. All I know was that I heard someone shout and turned around. Next moment I saw Grace falling into a muddy puddle and a cab sliding off the pavement into the muddy puddle. Apparently, the cab lost control and knocked into Grace. Luckily the cab wasn't going very fast or Grace would have flew instead of sliding down.

As you can imagine, all of us were very shocked. The next moment, all of us surrounded the cab. With CK shouting at the cab driver and attempting to pull the driver out of the cab so he doesn't run away. I had to carry Ashley from him we can use both his hands to grab that idiot out.

All I remembered was all of us shouting at him and taking pictures of his car and him. He kept saying sorry but what's the point? Sorry ain't gonna cure the injuries my sister suffered. Grace was slowly standing up and sobbing as wherever he hits her is hurting badly. Her elbows and waist was badly scrapped and bleeding. She might have knocked her head too.

To this point, I must say I'm really disappointed with the locals there. A lot of them stopped and watch but none offered to help. Even when we requested for them to help us call the police, they did not budge. I am so fucking angry with them. Unlike the Indonesians who were so helpful and was the 1st to step out and help when I too was knocked down on the streets of Jakarta many years ago. And I thought Thais are nice and friendly people. Sooooooo disappointed with them. Really fucking assholes man to refuse to help at this kinda situation.

In the end, we made the cab driver bring Grace to the nearest hospital for a check and that he had to pay for it. He initially wanted to offer us $100 Baht as compensation. Treating us like beggars sia. Knn!

Only CK and my mum went with Grace. The rest of us stayed behind to wait for them. Ashley was already crying badly in my arms and kept asking for her mummy. Dylan on the other hand is the strong silent type who is actually holding back his tears.

I brought them to the 7-11 for some air-con. It took me some time to coax Ashley until she stop crying. Then I spoke to Dylan. He was silent all the way and I ask him to talk to him. His eyes started to well up with tears saying he wants his daddy. I told him that mummy is badly hurt and needs to see the doctor. Daddy has to take care of her so can't bring him along. I told both of them to be good boy and good girl stay with Yee Yee until Daddy and Mummy comes back. Thank God they are sensible kids and finally agreed. I bought them milos and they are rather happy again.

We waited for like about half an hour before they are back. Grace had some medications applied to her wound and apparently nothing else too serious. We were all very upset by the way things has happened and it was a rather defeated group that went back to the ship. Once onboard the ship, we went to see the doctor on the ship as we don't really trust the doctors there. Once again, thank God that she did not suffer more serious injuries. The only injuries she had was superficial and not internal.

We went back to our room to shower and went down for dinner.

 Our menu for the night

 Tom Yum Goong. I was halfway through when I remember I had yet to take photo of it. Not that nice.

 Royal Prawn Cocktail

 Coq Au Vin

 Thai Fish Curry (SMBF's order)

 Beef Burguignonne

 Cajun Spiced Tilapia

 Dessert Menu

Obviously I ordered the Chocolate Sensation but apparently the Key Lime Pie also very nice! My dad ordered and we tried.

It's piggy!

We went to complain about the incident to the customer service onboard the ship and all they did was give us a bottle of champagne free. Boo! We want a free trip man for all the inconvenience, shock and injuries. Royal Caribbean please take note and give us what we deserve.

End of Day 3.

p/s. Till this day, I still shudder to think what happens if Grace was carrying Dylan instead of SMBF. What would happen to my poor darling?


Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Royal Caribbean Cruise - Mariner Of The Seas Day 2

I forgot to mention that I was on a 5 days 4 nights cruise trip to Port Klang and Phuket. I also forget to mention that the drink package price is for per pax only.

So anyway, on the 2nd day on the cruise, we arrived at Port Klang but we didn't get down the ship because according to SMBF, Port Klang is like an industrial area. There is nothing much unless you wanna spend money to take a cab out to KL.

So we woke up rather early to go for breakfast. You can choose to either have buffet breakfast or ala carte. We decided to give the ala carte a try so we went to the dining room on another level. Buffets are always on deck 11 where all the swimming pools are.

 The menu for breakfast

 Omelets

Daily Ultimate

After breakfast we went to walk around at the decks again taking in the scenery.







As I mentioned previously, they provide you daily itineraries for the next day which can be found in your room the previous night so you know what to do the next day. As it seems, there is gonna be a meet and greet session with Alex the Lion from Madagascar. Naomi's favourite cartoon character. So we decided to go see him.






Naomi is so happy to be able to see her favourite cartoon character come alive in front of her.

Following Alex, there is another meet and greet session with Gloria the Hippopotamus from Madagascar.






SMBF likes Gloria. Now we know he likes big tummy.

The rest of us were not there because we were all busy having buffet lunch. After lunch, I decided to try out the jacuzzi they are having, so me and all the kiddos went for a swim. The water in the jacuzzi is surprisingly warm. Can't say the same for the swimming pool though. It is super cold in the swimming pool.

A word of warning though. Do not jump into the swimming pool unless you want your mouth to be full of salt water. I think they use sea water in the swimming pool so the water is extremely salty and it makes you really thirsty.

We really laze around today cause after the swim, we brought the kids up for a nap and by the time we woke up, it's time for dinner.

 Our menu for tonight

 Cream of mushroom

 She insisted on taking a photo with the mushroom soup

 Grilled Butter Fish

 Fillet of Tenderloin

 Seafood Spaghetti

 This lady name is Veronica. She is the captain of all the waiters and waitresses on board. She came to see if we were enjoying our dinner and decided to entertain the kids.

 She made this for Naomi. It's called The Lady of Liberty. Haha! All the staff so nice la.


 This is made by our waiter Mr. Osman. Cool trick.

 Dessert Menu

 Bittersweet Chocolate Souffle! Super yummy! For people who loves coffee and chocolate.

 Our waiter and assistant waiter at dinner for the whole week. Nice people.

 The name of our dining room

We were all told to dress formal for tonight's dinner. Normally, you can just wear shorts and t-shirt. We got to know why we had to dress so nicely tonight after dinner. It was meet the captain night.

 The guy in the middle is the captain of the ship. I forgot his name. They are having a phototaking session. We didn't join in.

 So crowded at the Atrium. Some performance were going on. There was free champagne going around too.




 The captain making speeches and introducing the executive staffs of the ship.

 We came back to the room with a surprise!

 Rabbit!

Monkey in Grace room. Haha! Really cute.

If you are interested, they provide courses on the ship for you to learn how to use towels to fold into all this cute animals. I'm not sure if it's free or payable. I didn't go. Just saw that they have sessions of it on the itinerary. We went for a ice skating show after that. We were not allowed to take photos actually so I just took a few.







The show is very nice and entertaining. 

After the show ended, it's rather late already so we called it a day and went to rest.

End of Day 2.
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