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Friday, January 19, 2007

I feel so damn fucking sad. Why is it that my parents love my brother more? Since young, me & my sister get caning whenever we do something wrong. There was once i was almost dragged to the girls home by my dad.

You guys must be thinking what the hell did i do right? I'm not gonna tell. It's something really bad. I don't even wanna think abt it again.

So to people who thinks i am mean & bad, think again. I was worse in the past. But then again, i was just writing out my feelings.

Is that wrong?

Isn't what my blog is here for? An outlet for me to vent my fustrations on. Is being straight forward wrong? I only speak my mind. I know i've hurt certain people by being mean but i'm like this. If i change, it won't be me anymore.

I also know that some friends have already boycotted my blog but it's ok. At least you don't get to see the mean things i write & therefore do not feel offended by it.

That's not the point. I digress too much. The point is why are they so nice to my brother? Not that i hate him of course. He's my brother & therefore i love him too. I just feel that the way they treat him is wrong & unfair. EXTREMELY UNFAIR!

In the whole of my school life, i may have been a problem child but i've nvr ever kena school caning be it public or private before. My brother just sec 2 only & he kena caning already. Yet, my father defended him when i suggest we use corporate punishment on him to make him feel scared.

Always ask me talk to him. Talk nicely. Don't scream at him. Don't beat him. He feels bad enough already. Blah blah blah...

Ya right! Can ask him to kiss my ass la.

TALK TALK TALK got what use? He also nvr listen. Here listen then go out from the other ear. Talk for what? Bloody hell! If he really will feel bad abt what he did, he wouldn't keep committing mistakes that would be fatal to his future.

This type of people nvr go jail won't learn their lesson de. Tell me la. WHO is the person that is suppose to guide him? His FUCKING MOTHER okay? What is she doing? Enjoying her fucking life & not caring abt what the world is happening out there.

Why must i be the 1 to clean up the shit when the person who gave him life doesn't even care? Fucking ridiculous okay? I am not GOD! I am a human too. I do not have special powers to make him listen to me. If i have such powers, i would make him disappear!

He has nvr been whacked in his entire life or 14 years to be exact.

Why?

Because his parents don't bear to hit him.

Why?

Because he is the ONLY son. Just because he has a fucking penis he can get away with all this.

TOTAL BULLSHIT!

He acts like a chao ah gua even when he has a penis. I suggest that he cuts it off.

He has nvr been thru what me & my sister gone thru which is why he is what he is today. Whose fault? Mine izzit? My fucking fault izzit? If not, then why do i have to be the 1 to discipline him? Just because i'm his elder sister?

PURE NONSENSE!

I nvr need to discipline my sister much but look what has she turn out to? She has become more sensible & she knows how to think for herself. Lucky for her, she found a good bf who can take care of her.

What abt my brother? Do i need to find him a gf who is sensible enough to take care of him? Damn fucking sissy ok? Better stop studying, go be a giggolo & bring home some money so that his irritating mother don't make so much noise.

The problem is he nvr had a chance to go thru the harsh & maniac punishment my sister & i went thru therefore, he will nvr know what is PAIN! Why? Tell me why is the world so freaking unfair?

I'M SICK & TIRED OF IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY BROTHER! I SURE DID NOT TURN HIM INTO WHO HE IS TODAY! HE DID NOT FUCKING LEARN ALL THE BAD THINGS FROM ME. YOU DON'T SEE ME STEALING MONEY DO YOU?

I may seem tough on the outside(which i definitely am), but i have my vulnerable moments too. Like i said, i am afterall NOT GOD! Will irritating people please leave me alone & do not let me see your ultimately stupid face? Do not attack me with stupid comments. I just wanna cry alone.

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