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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

There comes a time when i feel that my husband no longer loves me. Yes. Pretty ironic huh? In just a few short weeks, his love for me starts to falter.

I don't really know what went wrong. I only know i feel pain in my heart. I feel so miserable when he doesn't care abt me. It's like history repeating itself.

Maybe he can't stand my temper but why must he do this to me? This is the 2nd time something like this happens. I have not stop crying since the day he treated me like this.

I tried my best to talk to him nicely to settle whatever problems we have but he just simply cannot be bothered. He kept avoiding my questions. Kept saying he need time to think. I don't know what he has to think abt.

His confinement week is coming. I won't be able to see him for 2 weeks. What is going to happen if he doesn't settle our problem before the end of this week?

I can't stand it! I'm going crazy soon. Why is he torturing me like this? Thoughts of suicide came to my mind. I almost did it last night. I took a knife & started cutting myself.

I wanted to end my life rather than being in a unhappy marriage. I no longer feel happy. I no longer feel that i'm the most xin fu girl ard. There is nothing left in my life worth waiting for.

I started to slice my hand but the knife was too blunt. I tried to slice harder but when i felt the pain seeping through my body, i dropped the knife. I do not have to courage to die but yet, i do not want to continue living in misery.

What must i do to end all this misery? I had enough & i do not want to go through all this shit over & over again. I hate my life! I hate my pathetic life!

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