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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Yesterday, deardear send me a message saying that his heart is already dead. When i saw that message, i can feel my heart breaking into many pieces.

I talk to a few dear friends abt this & they really made me feel alot better. Thank you guys if you're reading this.

I've decided to stop feeling upset & not cry anymore because my heart too went dead at that moment. I can no longer feel anything. I've lost all my senses.

I guess that's what happen when a person goes past his/her limits. I think deardear felt the same thing too when i broke his heart time & again.

I feel like the most goddamn useless person around. Im a lousy wife who failed her duty as a wife. I hurt my loved ones again & again. Regretting is too late for me now.

I've decided not to be a happy person again. I shall not cause sufferings to others for my own happiness anymore. I hereby announce that i will not be happy again as long as i continue hurting others.

Today, i went for a walk in the park with my mother-in-law & my mum. We walk from Bukit Batok Nature Reserve Park till Bukit Timah Hill. I nvr knew this 2 was connected. Amazing!

It was extremely tiring for me. I really lack of exercise but at least i've not grown any fatter till i become obese or something like that because of that due to good body metabolism. Haha... That's lame.

My mum is far worse than me. The look on her face really makes me want to laugh. I kinda pity her halfway through the journey but i told myself that this is for her own good.

I totally made a mistake putting 2 mothers together. What else can they talk abt? Their favourite subject is just right in front of them.

They talk abt my lifestyle till my working life. Arghhhh! Damn irritating. That's not all. After the walk we went to have breakfast... with my mother-in-law's FRIENDS!

Man... Those aunties... I had to listen to them talk throughout the whole meal though they not talking abt me la.

But, it's like... imagine me, a young lady sitting together with a bunch of aunties at the coffeeshop. Look kinda weird right? I had to listen to them talk & smile at them. I look like a blardy fool.

That's it! No more! I will nvr join them again! Goodness gracious me! Can't imagine if people actually mistaken me as 1 of their kakis! Siao! I will kill myself & die!

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