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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Life is unpredictable. Life is full of ups & downs. Sometimes life sucks so badly you wanna put an end to it but you can't. Life goes on no matter what happens.

I have no idea why i'm saying all this but i just had this feeling. An urge to spit it out. I feel like crying. I am crying. I wanna stop feeling hurt & stop crying.

I never used to be like this. I'm always a cheerful person with no worries. A person full of laughter & bringing joy to people's life.

As i grew older, things become more complicated. You think of things that you never once think of it. I hate growing up if all of this is part & parcel of adult life.

Why is everyone around me facing so much stress & problems? Why can't everyone just take things easy? Why make your problem another person's problem?

I hate my life. I hate the environment i'm living in. I hate the environment i grew up in. I hate all the problems in my life. I want them to all go away!

Leave me alone!!! Arghhhh!!!

Why is my life so miserable? I have to worry abt my parent's relationship problem. I have to worry abt my problem. I have to worry abt my marriage.

I just wanna have a peace of mind & live life happily but things keep coming my way in my everyday life stopping me from getting happiness. Is that how my life is meant to be?

I don't wanna feel so troubled. I don't wanna feel stress. I don't wanna get depression. I don't wanna break down. I don't wanna feel so sad & heart broken everyday.

People my age are all enjoying their life at this moment. Why do i have to suffer like this? I know there are people out there who are suffering more than i do.

But does that mean i have to be like them? When will i ever get the happiness that i truly deserve? I have no idea. I can only see darkness in my life.

I used to think that i will be happy after getting married because deardear will always be there for me. I thought happiness is finally coming my way like he promised.

I was so wrong. In the end, i'm left with nothing but an unhappy marriage & bundles of never ending problems that only seem to increase & never decrease.

Please... Can somebody out there please save me? Tell me what should i do? I know ending my life is not an option & have never thought of it.

I'm just a simple girl who looks forward to a simple & happy life with somebody to love & care for me.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

It's has been a really tedious week for me last week. I almost collapse. Was feeling pretty sick throughout the whole week & it became worse on sat which is my last day of duty.

It has been a really lousy week. 1st the vomit followed by the rain & then i sprained my leg. This sucks man. But something made me really happy.

My manager called me into his office & told me that they are quite satisfied with my performance & he will talk to the HR abt my conversion to perm.

I was so happy & i just waited quietly for the letter to come but bad news came in today. Apparently, there was an internal transfer & they decided to ask me go.

They say that they always give internal transfer priority which is like so damn fucking unfair to me. It's not like i'm a contract staff of what.

Though i'm still just a temp staff but they can't do this to me. Giving me just 2 days notice & ask me fuck off. I did not say i do not want to work anymore.

It's not like the position is vacant or something. I'm still there happily waiting & they just ask me to *snap* go like that.

They are not even giving me some kind of compensation or whatsoever. If they made arrangements for me to transfer to other dept still not so bad but they just kick me away.

I have nvr been happier working in a place. I'm in good terms with my colleagues & i get along really well with everybody.

Despite getting fucked by customers all day long but i'm still happy. I was mentally prepared to stay there long term & now they tell me this.

I was really hurt badly. For the 1st time, i'm so ready to give my all to company, made the effort to do everything right but they just dashed my hopes like this.

This has been the most ridiculous reason i've heard that i'm asked to leave. I'm so sad & pissed off at the same time.

I couldn't control my tears & i started crying. All the service advisors were like totally concerned abt me. They tried consoling me & say nice things to me.

All that made me want to cry even more. I'm not willing to leave. I was forced to leave against my own wish. It's not like i've done anything wrong.

Don't you guys think it's really unfair for me? Still, i harbour hopes of returning back to work again if i ever have that chance.

I have nvr been so sure of what i want before. I have nvr insist so much on something i want & now i want this job badly.

I pray & i hope that 1 day, i'll be given the chance to go back again.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

There are tons of things i want to blog abt but i'm just simply too tired & lazy. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Mayb i'll just cut it short.

I had a pretty wonderful weekend eversince after my wedding. I went for steamboat with Ginny, Rachel & Jing Jing at Bugis.

After that, we went past this Tong Shui Cafe & decided to go in for some desserts. It taste pretty good & value for money. All the prices there end with $0.88 de. So cute. The boss must be earning big bucks.
Look!

It's us!


After that, Ginny, Wilson & i went to the airport to fetch Jia Ming. Yeah! He's back again. Back to pollute the air with his smelly armpits. Hahaha...

Sat, i went out with deardear to Bukit Panjang Plaza & we came back with lots of vcds. We had dinner & went to meet Ginny, Wilson & Jia Ming.

We went to West Coast Mac to have a drink & chill & after that, we spend the next 4 hours at NUH cause deardear had a fishbone stuck in his throat & it's hurting him.

Sun, i spent the whole day watching vcds with deardear at home. Just the 2 of us. We ordered pizza for dinner. Sweet huh?

I might nvr get another day like this in my life. My most memorable sunday eversince i got married. It makes me feel like crying.

Mon, i went to meet deardear at Jurong Point after work. We went to have dinner & i accompanied him to buy some necessay stuffs for his coming outfield at Tekong.

I'm gonna miss my deardear so much.

Today was not my day. 1st, an indian boy vomitted on the train SAME cabin as me. It was too crowded so i couldn't move to the next cabin. Had to endure with the smell all the way from Jurong to Queenstown! Arghhhh!!! *puke!*

After that, on my way walking to the office, halfway thru, it started to rain heavily. I was in the middle of nowhere. Can only run forward. Almost slip & sprain my leg. Damn the heels! Damn the rain! Damn fucking sway!

Hmmmm... I wanted to cut it short but still end up writing so much. See? I told you. I have tons of things to blog.

Time to sleep. Good nite everyone!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Daddy has once again left us & gone back to work. Time flies by real fast. Before you know it, the fun has ended & we have to say goodbye again.

I miss my daddy. I don't want him to work there. We barely get to spend enough time with him whenever he's back.

Everytime he leaves us, i'll be wondering when we'll get to see him again. So afraid that i'll nvr see him again.

I know it's not right to think like this but i remember daddy once told me that life is short. Be happy while we can cause we nvr know when will the day come as we go to sleep, we might nvr wake again.

How true...

My whole family & deardear nearly lost me when the bike came knocking into me last year. Till this day, some people still don't know how to treasure me.

I thought that incident was probably the most serious enough thing to take my life away unless some car comes knocking into me again.

Choy! Choy! Choy!

Hahaha! I remember once reading a friend's blog. He was saying if this things really work like saying choy & touch wood.

He say if it's true, how abt try holding on to a piece of wood, blindfold yourself & start crossing a busy road saying choy choy choy!

Hehehe... That was really hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing till my stomach start to cramp & lots of tears rolling down my face.

Ok. Enough of that. Now i want to complain liao. Here comes...

What the hell is wrong with people nowadays?

I really really really hate taking public transport. Especially mrt! Cause i think that people who take mrt are siao! I'm not cause if i have a choice i rather not take it.

Late then late la. Why must push here & there? Fucking hell! Stomp on people's foot some more. Bunch of idiotic bitches & bastards!

Because of this type people trying to squeeze into a tiny hole go push people & step on people's feet, i missed 2 trains. 1 at Bukit Batok & 1 at Jurong East thus dragging my precious time.

I'm going to start wearing safety boots & stomp on whoever is trying to stomp on my petite feet again.

I swear! I swear i'll nvr ever take public transport like bus & mrt(taxis not counted) again if i have the ability.

I hope those people who stomp on my feet & push me have their feet grow blisters & start rotting. When they cannot walk properly anymore, they will all lost balance & fall into the mrt tracks & get crushed by the next oncoming train.

Ooohhh... Bloody! I like! Muahahahaha!!!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

I realised i had a bunch of loving & concerned colleagues. Some have seen me crying in the office & roughly guessed what happened to me. Some were just really nice.

I have colleagues messaging me after that day when they saw me cry & ask if i'm fine. I was really shocked & pleased at the same time.

Another colleague bought me nasi lemak from malaysia cause he knows that i like it. My my... What a pleasant surprise!

Another 1 called me after work 1 day & ask why i nvr wait for him. Haha... I nvr knew colleagues could be so nice after all the nasty experience i ever had with stupid idiotic colleagues.

I hereby announce i have a god-father named John who look extremely like an uncle of mine. He may have a rather bad temper but he is really nice.

He can be very concerned at times. An example would be that there was 1 night we went out with a bunch of colleagues & we were suppose to go drinking.

He knew what happened to me but he had to go home acc his wife. Before he left, he told me not to drink too much since i was feeling sad. If not, later go home will quarrel again.

He even told my colleagues to look after me & control my drinking. Isn't he sweet? What a nice god-father i have. Anyway, we did not go drinking in the end. Everybody was too tired.

There was 1 time i came back from lunch & saw him smoking so i joined him. He started asking how's things between me & deardear. I thought he had forgotten abt it so was pretty shocked when he ask.

I roughly told him what happened & at that point of time, my handphone went kinda haywire & i told him. He tried to help me fix it. Haha!

Ok la. That's all i wanna say. I have a bunch of cool colleagues except for 1 irritating guy & i'm happy working with them though we do have some misunderstandings during the course of work but we do not bear grudges against each other.

I'm very happy working at Borneo Motors & i hope to continue working there as long as possible.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Hey! It's been a long since i sat down in front of my com writing my blog. Life still sucks as much as before. Everything is still the same.

I'm pretty sick & tired of my life. I don't know why i have to go thru all this shitty phase of life. Can somebody tell me why life sucks so much?

I don't even know why i'm still living in this world. I wish i was nvr born at all. I don't wanna come to this world & suffer. I'm not Jesus Christ.

I'm no saint & i'm definitely not perfect. Nobody is perfect in this world. Everybody makes mistakes. At least i'm not a rapist or murderer.

Why can't we just take things easy? Live & let live. Why force me into the corner where i can't run or escape? I've already apologise so what more?

Families don't bear grudges. There's no overnight hatred. Why make things so complicated? Just forgive & get on with life. Must i die in order to repay what i've done wrong?

Remember that someday you may wish for others to forgive you as well. Don't be so heartless & cruel. Don't go to the extend of no return.

Alright. Nothing much to say anymore. Haven't been doing much for the past few weeks. Work is fine. Remember i cut my hair short?

Here's a photo of it. Tell me nice anot ok?


Apart from that, i also went to put a tattoo. Want see? Scroll down.

Swee bo?

Fake 1 la. But, if enough people leave comments on my blog telling me it's nice then i will go put it for real. So you guys support me anot? Faster leave comments.

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