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Thursday, October 4, 2007

Sometimes i wish i never had so much hatred in me & that i'm not such a evil & mean person. Hatred makes me miserable. I never like to bear hatred against others. I always forgive & forget.

So why is it that i still bear some hatred towards certain people?

I may say things that hurt people & especially people i don't like but still i have friends who like me. They feel that i'm straight forward which i am.

I don't feel the need to hide anything. I may have offended some people in the process & so be it. Rather than i hide the truth & make myself miserable.

That's how i am. People who can accept it are my true friends. Only true friends tell the truth. I hate to hide things. I don't like secrets & i absolutely hate people lying to me.

Lie straight in my face some more. Treat me like idiot or what? I'm no idiot & i'm not stupid. I can always tell. Nothing lies hidden away from me.

I’m always fair to all my friends. Even if they once betrayed me but i still forgive them. I always stay loyal to my friends. I’m always there for them. But there will people that i just dislike & can never be friends.

People who were once my friends can become my enemy overnight or in an instant because of something they did which pisses me off badly. I don’t hate people for no reason.

Yes. I may dislike a person for no reason just because i don’t like they way they look & most of the time i’m glad they are not my friends.

Just call it an instinct of mine. I just can tell at a look from a person’s face if he/she is worthy of my friendship but i don’t hate for no reason.

I used to have so many friends. We used to just have fun hanging out with one another going to Orchard or Sentosa. Where did those happy days went to? Why are they gone? What happened to us in between those happy times till now?

Why did they still choose to do things to piss me off even after so many times i tell them not to? Why did they choose to give up this precious friendship so easily when I treat my friends as the chosen ones?

My friendship does not come by easily. It’s not easy to be my friend. Of course everyone can choose to be or not to be my friend. I don’t force & likewise, i choose my friends carefully. Not everyone can be my friend just because they want to.

I’m not saying that i’m all high & mighty. I'm not a snoobish person & i hate people who are like this. Think they so good & precious. Read between the lines ok? I’m just like this. It’s merely the characteristics of a Cancer & Leo i think. It’s as though i’ve got a split personality.

Anyway, it’s not really important to me that those days come back. This thought just strike me out of nowhere & i started to ponder upon it.

Life sucks badly & life can also be wonderful.

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