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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Unlucky!

So damn fucking unlucky this week.

Had a quarrel with deardear abt his mother and he got angry with me when i am suppose to be the 1 to get angry. I hate him!

On thursday, my mind was full of the quarrel that when i went to the ATM to withdraw money, i actually remember to take my card but forget to take the money.

$50 just gone like this. Whoever the lucky chap it is that took my money, may your hands rot and fingers start dropping like a leprosy patient!

Today, my parents had a quarrel again. My mum really force my father up the wall this time and made him made up his mind to divorce.

I had to talk my father round for her but what did i get? Nothing! More insults from her instead! Just because my father favour and dote on me the most!

Is that a sin?

Why can't she dote on me just like my father do? Why must she get jealous over her own daughter? Just what did i do wrong?

I cannot take it anymore! I tried to talk her round and she say she don't have a daughter like me and that i side my father for the sake of money.

Why is she acting like a small kid? She even slammed the door on my hand. I thought she changed. I sincerely believe that she changed but i'm wrong.

I'm very disappointed with her attitude and the words she said to me and my father. Many times, she has broken my heart over and over again.

I always remember the time she tried to jeopardize my wedding just because of a quarrel with my father. What am i? A sacrifice?

But i kept on forgiving her again and again just because for the fact that she is my mother and i love her. But she has disappointed and hurt me again and again.

What does she want from me? I am afterall a human! I have feelings too! I am made of flesh and not steel! Is she my mother at all? I really don't know anymore...

My heart is full of sadness and hatred! My parents-in-law made things difficult for me, my husband don't understand me and my mother hates me!

The only close person i have is my father and he is not feeling any better than i am... What can i do to make him feel better when i myself is drowning?

Sometimes, my in-laws treat me better than my own mum. Even if they made things difficult for me i still take it. I can don't care.

The feeling sucks when your own mother do things to hurt you. I really don't wanna cry for her anymore. My heart is bleeding badly.

Before the previous wound that she inflicted on me heal, she inflicted another 1 on me. The wound is getting so deep it will never heal anymore.

I wish that i may 1 day die in my sleep to end all my sufferings.

2 comments:

Melvin said...

wow lots of bad happenings recently huh I sympathise with u gal but well that's life full of different kinds of troubles screwing u up. Juz have to take things in ur stride 1 thing at a time and dun take these things to heart. Everyday is a new day remember the happy times and forget the unhappy ones.

Damn kena say by u like dunno what then here i am being the gd samaritan haha well doesn't matter take care gal stay cheerful.

Melvin said...

A small boy was told by his mother that he would turn to stone when he sinned. 1 day he as usual after school he was walking alone the same path back hm with his usual fren when he came across a peephole in a fence. His fren, greg peeped in and said "hey Tom u are gonna like this" so Tom wondering what it was peeped in and saw a naked lady having her bath. He immediately turned, looked at greg and said "what mum said was true. My penis is turning to stone"

haha juz for laughs

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