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Thursday, August 28, 2008

You're My Sunshine!

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You never know, dear, how much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping,

I dreamed I held you in my arms

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Please don't take my sunshine away...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

How i feel at times... Can you see it? Can you feel it?

Got all this from a good friend whom i think he would like his blog to be more low profile so i'm not gonna say who. Sorry i took this without your permission but it really fits how i feel at times and i think it's really cute...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Unique Flaws...

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each
hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across
her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot
was perfect and always delivered a full portion of

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the
house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman
bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half
of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure,
it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my
side causes water to leak out all the way back to your

'The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are
flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other
pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw,
so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and
every day while we walk back, you water them.'

'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful
flowers to decorate the table..

Without you being just the way you are, there would
not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks
and flaws we each have that make our lives together
so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are
and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and
remember to smell the flowers on your side of the

The will of GOD will never take you where the grace of GOD will not protect you.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Who am i?

Been really busy working. So many things to do but i never seem to have enough time to do it all. No mind for blogging. I don't know what to write also.

I'm like a wandering spirit floating around with no certain place to call my own. Still learning to be a better person.

I'm slowly forgetting how he looks like. The more i try to remember, the more faded and blur is the image in my mind.

But i know that he still lives in my heart because i still do miss him and there will be the occasional heart pains.

Although i'm busy but my heart is lonely. He is always on my mind. I'm always wondering what he is doing. Did he take his lunch? Is he happy?

I miss talking to him on the phone. I even miss the times we quarrel over small little things. Whatever happened to us now?

I've been pondering on what actually happened. Everything happen so fast, i'm still having difficulty believing that all this has happened.

Why did he give up on me when we were so in love? Then i think of the Sheila he fell in love with. Where has she gone to? Can i ever get her back?

Why did things change? Did i change after i got married? Where is the husband i fell in love with? I don't know for sure if he has changed. We haven't talk for a long time.

People who knows me well enough will know what happened to my father-in-law. It's nearly a year since his operation.

He was suppose to recover within half a year but till now he is still in pain. I pray for him every night and it hurts me to see him suffering like this.

But he is taking things pretty easily. I told him to enjoy life now and don't care abt anything. Just be happy everyday.

Although things between me and my husband are like this but i still treat them like my own parents and i love them. I know they care alot abt me too.

I was really stupid and childish to quarrel with deardear abt them. What was i thinking saying bad things abt them? I felt like a fool when i think back.

Right now i just wanna spend whatever time i have left with them happily. Live together in harmony. I might not have the chance anymore when the time comes for me to leave.

My mum is also having health problems. The vein in her eye burst and now her vision is blurred. Doctor says it's because of high blood pressure.

How do i put it across to her that she must take things easy and not think so much? If the main artillery of her eyes burst too, she'll go blind.

Sometimes i'm also afraid that i might cry myself blind 1 day. I try to be happy everyday and not think of anything that will upset me.

But tears still flow even when i'm asleep. It won't be easy for me to get thru this heart pain though the pain are not so intense nowadays.

I still love him and i just can't seem to stop loving him. I loved him deeply with all my heart and soul. I can't take it back anymore.

I have decided not to run anymore. I will face up to my own feelings. I know how much i love him and how important he is to me in my life.

I will continue to love him till the day i'm gone from this world. I will always be by his side watching over him so when he needs me, i'll be there for him.

That's love... To give and not to take. I've been taking alot so now it's time for me to give. I promised him that i will never leave him and i will keep to that promise.

For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part...

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Looking back...

Looking back at our lives, we realise that we often do alot of foolish things. Some are worth laughing at and some makes us feel disgusted with ourselves.

Those were the days. The things that we do, we often feel we are damn right about it or it's downright funny at that point of time.

We never realise that the things we do often hurt alot of people around us. Humans are selfish creatures often thinking that we are always right.

I'm not a person that likes regrets in whatever i do but very often, i do things which i regret later and it's often too late to do anything to salvage the situation.

We can never turn back time. There are no time for regrets. Things happen for a reason and life goes on no matter what happens.

We can only learn from our mistakes and not commit it again. Things are just not gonna be the same again after the damage is done. The scar will always be there.

I don't know abt others and i have no right to judge others. I, myself often do alot of things to hurt people ard me and in return i get hurt too.

What goes round comes round i guess. You reap what you sow.

The situation i land myself in is often too late to just say sorry. The damage is big and disastrous. I'm always at a lost not knowing what to do.

So often, i lose my sense of direction. Not knowing where to go and who to turn to. Though i believe in God but i can't help myself feeling emotions.

I don't like loneliness. I get scared easily. He was always there for me but have i always been there for him too? Not much, that was why he left.

He has someone there for him now. I should be feeling happy for him but why do i still cry so often? He is no longer by my side but he will always live in my heart.

Days, weeks and months went by. How many lonely nights have i spent on my own? How many hours have i cried for him? How often does he appear in my dreams?

Nights are getting more lonely. Tears flow on their own even when i'm asleep. Dreams are getting lesser. I still miss him alot...

Weekends are a torture to me now. I do not know where to go and what to do. Time passes by so slowly and the day seems so draggy. Sometimes i spend hours just staring at the ceiling.

The time we spend together on weekends are no longer there. All alone on my own. I feel like an abandoned child. Work is all i have now.

Life goes on... I will slowly learn and grow in God's grace... I will be fine... I will be strong... I will be happy in time to come... Time will heal... Everything will get better in time...
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