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Sunday, December 13, 2009

In Memory Of Lawrence Tan Wei Meng

Recently, a very good friend of mine just passed away in an accident. His name is Lawrence Tan Wei Meng, Male, 28 this year. Birth date 07/11/1981.

His death was in the news. Apparently, some lorry driver did an illegal u-turn and thus crashing head on with my friend's van causing him to suffer serious injuries.

I've known him for 10 years. He was the last person i thought that would go off so young. He passed away on 10/12/2009. A day i will always remember.

I have not seen him for 3 years. Just a few days before his death, he msn me to ask me out. I told him to give me a call but i guess the call will never come anymore.

Till now i still can't believe that he is gone but i've already stopped crying because of what a friend told me. I shall list it out later.

Right now, i just wanna say what a good friend he had been to me. He had always been a cheerful and jovial person. Always giving a helping hand to others.

He was a fillial kid and did his best in everything. Nothing ever seems too difficult for him to handle. He is always able to conquer everything that we find it difficult to do but he is always supportive of me and always there for me when i'm in trouble. I love going on rides on his bike.

The ironic thing is that he has always been a bike lover and he often travels alot on his bike to places like myanmar, thailand, etc.. But he did not die in a bike accident.

He has given me lots of beautiful memories and wonderful friends that i really treasure till this day. Because of him, we have started to contact each other again.

I will always remember my 17th birthday. The best birthday in my entire 26 years of life. He made it so memorable.

Just when i thought everyone has forgotten about my birthday, he was busy preparing a surprise birthday bash for me. At that time he had a bunch of good friends who call them themselves F4. Haha.. So cute right? If include Lawrence in would become 5566 already.

He called me and ask where i was so i told him i was at sentosa doing nothing. He sort of scolded me saying that everyone has been busy looking for me and they are about to post up pictures of me all around lamp post to look for me already.

I burst out laughing and he told me to get my ass out of sentosa and meet him straight away. I left immediately.

What met my eyes next really touched my heart. 1 of the F4 members was sick so couldn't make it but still, 4 guys holding a birthday cake was waiting for me. I'm such a lucky girl right?

Lawrence took us to a place which served really nice claypot abalone noodles and they sang a birthday song for me right there. I was really close to tears at that time.

He was the nicest friend i ever had and he will forever be remembered and stay in my heart even though he is now gone.

I'm gonna really miss him badly. I just find it tough to accept why God took him away while he is still so young and this is what a friend of mine told me and it made me feel better.

12/12/2009
4:30:11 AM
justin
~La>_
what is our purpose?
12/12/2009
4:30:19 AM
justin
~La>_
living or dying?
12/12/2009
4:30:33 AM
justin
~La>_
some are chosen to live...so they can do godwill
12/12/2009
4:30:48 AM
justin
~La>_
but some are chose to die...to bring glory to god
12/12/2009
4:30:57 AM
justin
~La>_
so who or what is GOD
12/12/2009
4:30:58 AM
justin
~La>_
?
12/12/2009
4:31:03 AM
justin
~La>_
GOD is LOVE
12/12/2009
4:31:33 AM
justin
~La>_
and if by dying...your fren help us to lOVE...then he did as what god told him to do
12/12/2009
4:31:56 AM
justin
~La>_
by his death...all are in sorrow
12/12/2009
4:31:59 AM
justin
~La>_
but
12/12/2009
4:32:13 AM
justin
~La>_
it also brought out the love in all of us
12/12/2009
4:32:27 AM
justin
~La>_
his memories bring abt love
12/12/2009
4:32:41 AM
justin
~La>_
his family is bounded closer by his death
12/12/2009
4:32:45 AM
justin
~La>_
thats love
12/12/2009
4:32:56 AM
justin
~La>_
his friend cry in pain...
12/12/2009
4:33:07 AM
justin
~La>_
but it shows the love they have for him
12/12/2009
4:33:12 AM
justin
~La>_
Thats LOVE
12/12/2009
4:33:19 AM
justin
~La>_
and love is god
12/12/2009
4:33:21 AM
justin
~La>_
GOD
12/12/2009
4:33:43 AM
justin
~La>_
doesn't that prove his death is worthy
12/12/2009
4:34:07 AM
justin
~La>_
the glory of GOD will b brought abt by his dead
12/12/2009
4:34:10 AM
justin
~La>_
death
12/12/2009
4:34:41 AM
justin
~La>_
so dont be sad...u can..but u must see LOVE in all this...or he will die for nothing
12/12/2009
4:34:52 AM
~La>_
justin
so by rememberin him n him living in my heart is also the same as rememberin God and God living in my heart?
12/12/2009
4:35:02 AM
justin
~La>_
yes
12/12/2009
4:35:10 AM
justin
~La>_
god knows your pain
12/12/2009
4:35:14 AM
justin
~La>_
he is there
12/12/2009
4:35:23 AM
justin
~La>_
next to u
12/12/2009
4:35:29 AM
justin
~La>_
jesus is
12/12/2009
4:35:41 AM
justin
~La>_
your tears is a representation of love
12/12/2009
4:35:53 AM
justin
~La>_
every drops will be for him
12/12/2009
4:35:57 AM
justin
~La>_
thats love
12/12/2009
4:36:21 AM
justin
~La>_
every 1 that feels for him...its love
12/12/2009
4:36:32 AM
justin
~La>_
so dont hate the lorry driver
12/12/2009
4:36:45 AM
justin
~La>_
u must go beyond that
12/12/2009
4:36:48 AM
justin
~La>_
go past that
12/12/2009
4:37:07 AM
justin
~La>_
instead pray for his forgiveness
12/12/2009
4:37:13 AM
justin
~La>_
forgiveneSS
12/12/2009
4:37:37 AM
justin
~La>_
becos by love...u will glorify god...and GOD see that
12/12/2009
4:37:44 AM
justin
~La>_
hatred is evil
12/12/2009
4:37:56 AM
justin
~La>_
so u must win over hatred
12/12/2009
4:38:02 AM
~La>_
justin
i dun hate the lorry driver
12/12/2009
4:38:13 AM
justin
~La>_
he will get what he deserve
12/12/2009
4:38:20 AM
justin
~La>_
that is for GOD to decide
12/12/2009
4:38:45 AM
justin
~La>_
dont u think he is also in pain
12/12/2009
4:38:55 AM
justin
~La>_
?
12/12/2009
4:38:58 AM
justin
~La>_
he is
12/12/2009
4:39:11 AM
justin
~La>_
this will live for ever in him
12/12/2009
4:39:25 AM
justin
~La>_
i pray many times...to GOD
12/12/2009
4:39:38 AM
justin
~La>_
dont let me take some1 life by my stupidity
12/12/2009
4:39:51 AM
justin
~La>_
i cannot live with blood on my hands
12/12/2009
4:40:12 AM
justin
~La>_
its far worst than your frens death
12/12/2009
4:40:28 AM
justin
~La>_
so
12/12/2009
4:40:47 AM
justin
~La>_
there is nothing wrong in dying
12/12/2009
4:41:01 AM
justin
~La>_
he serve his purpose...
12/12/2009
4:41:20 AM
justin
~La>_
we only see it from our angle...not god's
12/12/2009
4:41:38 AM
justin
~La>_
u r not wrong...but learn to see and listen
12/12/2009
4:42:09 AM
justin
~La>_
pain is what mould and shape a person
12/12/2009
4:42:29 AM
justin
~La>_
u will see that after the healing start....GOD is everywhere
12/12/2009
4:42:45 AM
justin
~La>_
so....u must tell god to heal your pain
12/12/2009
4:42:50 AM
justin
~La>_
he will

I pray that he is happy and pain free whenever he is now and continue to look after us from above there.

In his memory...


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Updates!

Okay. I'm back again. Somebody is complaining that i don't blog often enough. Very kanasai. Never write blog also must get scolding.

I see that he's a good friend by accompanying me when i'm down and lending his shoulder when i cry then i write now so he can read. Song bo? Haha..

Man.. I think i really too long never write blog until now i'm using all sorts of language. This has to stop. I must go back to my perfect English writing.

Hmmmm.. What shall i blog about? All i have to say are sad things. People who know me know what kind of mum i have right?

Just yesterday, she told me to get out of the house again which is really heart breaking. I can tolerate anybody outside whom i don't care about.

They can scold me, say things about me or even laugh at me but when people i care say nasty things to me, it is really hurting.

Sometimes i don't know if i hate my mum more than i love her. How much more of her nonsense can i tolerate for the love i have for her?

I was at the rate of bursting out in tears when i called my dad. I can tell that he too has received certain amounts of stress from my mum because he actually cried over the phone which totally broke my heart.

I sense that my dad is facing some problems on his side but he refuse to tell me what is going on. He said i can't help him as well.

I know he doesn't want me to worry but doesn't he know that by not telling me anything will make me worry more?

I really feel so useless. I can't do anything right. I feel really lost. What am i suppose to do now? What can i do? I'm really too tired with all the things that is going on around me.

I'm frustrated enough that i can't find a full time job. Why is my mum giving us so much shit? I really don't understand. Does she hate us so much?

I don't wanna think so much anymore. I had enough. If moving out is what she wants me to do and if it makes her happier then i will move out the moment i find a job.

In fact, i have an interview tomorrow morning. I seriously hope i can get that job and out of the house i leave. Wish me luck!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I'm back!

Hi all! It's been a long time since i blogged. It's not that i don't care about this blog anymore. I've been giving myself lots of excuses that i don't have time to blog.

In fact, i've been going out a lot with lots of newfound friends. Life has been good for me even though i have already left my ex company.

Well now.. Where do i start? I really have no idea what to say. A lot has happened within this 3 months. Some good some bad.

Alright. I'm now wasting my life away working part time in a pub for the time being while looking for another full time day job.

It ain't that bad actually. Working there has let me improve my drinking skills and make many friends. They are all really fun and my boss is good to me too but i know i can't stay there for long. It's not exactly a proper career.

Been single for a long time though there are now people going after me but i did not take a step further other than just being friends.

Maybe i have fear of being hurt again or i really don't know what it is like to fall in love anymore. I do not feel love at all. I'm just numb to it.

What's important is that i know i will always have a bunch of good friends around me no matter what happens and i can always depend on them.

Sighz.. Ok la. Nothing much to say for the time being. I shall update real soon again. Cya guys!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Still so busy...

Exams are over but i still don't have much time to blog.

I'm always near dead when i'm home everyday. Just so freaking tired.

Nothing happening except that i'm waiting for my results to be out.

Apart from that, i'm actually counting down the days when my birthday comes.

Will anyone even remember it? All i know is that i will be working on that day.

I don't even know how i will celebrate it. No mood to celebrate at all.

What's so nice to celebrate when you are getting older?

I'm pretty much dreading the day coming actually. I'll be officially in my late twenties then.

No more mid twenties le. Boohoohoo...

Sighz.. Counting down to 9 more days when i become an old woman.

Baaahhhhhhh... I don't want la!!! Somebody help me please!!!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Lucky or Unlucky?

Thursday was probably the most fearful day i had.

I dropped my handphone on the cab and it was that brand new handphone that i bought for less than a month.

It was upon reaching office that i realised it. I panicked and started calling my phone like a mad woman, tears nearly bursting out of my eyes.

I was damn lucky that the auntie driver picked up my call before i went bonkers.

She came back and return me my phone while i paid her $10 for travelling back. What's $10 compared to my new phone right?

Recently i never blog because i'm currently addicted to facebook's texas poker. Damn addictive game. Can't stop.

But i know i have to stop somehow. Exams are round the corner and i really gotta start studying. Can't afford to fail.

Work has been a whole lot of stress. Additional workload but no additional income.

Life sucks but what to do. That's life.. Bear with it. Find a rich husband and marry off. Lol.. Just joking.

Recently i've been wondering if SMRT is being stupid or Singaporeans are just pure asses.

They have to employ an old man wearing a t-shirt that says "Please Give Way." standing there every morning to remind the public.

We, Singaporeans are absolute numbskulls. Really have no idea what goes in this people's head. Is it so difficult to give way?

I know life is short, therefore must walk faster but not giving up seats to those who need it more than us are just pure dumb.

I know.. I'm a Singaporean too and a pure one at that too (some say i look like m'sian. what rubbish is that?) but i ain't such an arse. I know who are the needy ones.

For those inconsiderate people, i hope the same thing happens to you. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Old Dogs!!!

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long,discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!


Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs..... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience..

Monday, June 8, 2009

My everything... (For that special someone who has left me)

The lonliness of nights alone
The search for strength to carry on
My every hope had seemed to die
My eyes had no more tears to cry
Then like the sun shined from up above
You surrounded me with your endless love
N all the things i couldn't see are now so clear to me
You are my everything
Nothing your heart won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything
Now all my hopes and all my dreams are suddenly reality
You've opened up my heart to feel
A kind of love that's truly real
A guiding light that'll never fade
There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
For the love you give it won't let go
I hope you'll always know
You all my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
the only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray,
On bended knee
That you will always be,
My everything
You're the breath of life in me
The only one that sets me free,
And you have made my soul complete
For all time (for all time)
You are my everything (Your my everything)
Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)
My life is yours alone (alone)
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through (Your spirit pulls me through)
When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)
Every night I pray (I pray)
On bended knee (on my knee)
That you will always be,
My everything
Your my everything (Your my everything)
Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)
My life is yours alone (alone)
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through (Your spirit pulls me through)
When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)
Every night I pray, down on bended knee
That you will always be
My everything, oh my everything

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Testing..

Testing testing.. Testing 123..

Trying to blog from my new phone. Seems not bad wor.

Here's a pretty photo of me for all to enjoy.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Just a dream..

Last night i had a dream about you. In my dreams, we were so happy and so loving.

In my dreams, we were back to when we 1st met each other. Everything was so new and exciting.

In my dreams, we went back to East Coast Park where we spent a lovely and touching night.

The feelings we had for each other were so real and heart warming. You were always there for me.

You are always so gentle and caring towards me. You never left me when i needed you. Always fixing my broken heart.

You never once let go of my hand no matter how tough things were. You told me that you will always be here for me.

When i'm unhappy, you do your best to make me laugh. When i couldn't control and cry, you hug me tight in your arms.

Always giving me the assurance i need. Everytime we are together, you always put a smile on my face.

You created happy memories of us so i can forget about the past. You help me out during my darkest moments.

I truly believe that you were brought to me by our beloved God. An angel from the heaven to give the happiness i deserve.

I was so happy and contented when i was brought back to reality by my alarm clock. It was afterall just a dream.

You have left me behind.

Once again, the wound in my heart opened up. How do i let you know how much i miss you? How do i tell you what i went through just to get over you?

I tell myself to be contented that i once had such happy moments with you. I can only keep it in my heart where it is safe and replay it in my dreams where no one can ever take it away.

Thank you so much for once being with me giving me such happy memories.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Sibei Funny!!!

Got this from a friend's blog. Too funny not to share... =)



P.s: Think he dance better than Wonder Girls though.. =p

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I'm still alive...

Dear friends, i'm not dead. I'm still alive la. Just that i've been too preoccupied to blog. So many things to do yet so little time.

Work has been frustrating especially when you are working with lazy, selfish, attitude problem people. Just cannot get peace of mind.

Many times i'm tempted to leave but i know i must carry on. Life doesn't just stop here. I will continue to meet many difficulties and i know i must overcome them so i can grow stronger.

Studies has been really tedious as well. Every 5 lessons there will be a quiz and the percentage you get in the quiz goes to your final exam as well.

Super stress ar!!!

Don't know how i even managed till now. The only consolation i get is getting attending RCIA and Church mass.

It's the only thing i do without feeling tired. Instead i feel stronger and more energetic. Drawing strength from God is indeed different.

I only wish i had more time to blog. It's been a long time since i poured out my feelings here. I miss blogging but i just can't find time.

Whatever free time i have i will use it to revise because the schedule is just too damn tight.

Maybe i will have more free time after my exams which is in July. I hope i pass though. This cert is important to me. Gotta pray hard and study hard.

Alot has been happening recently but now is not the time to spill it out here because i gotta go study le. Upcoming quiz next thurs.

I only have 1 whole saturday to study as sunday will be meeting my classmates to discuss about our roleplay project as it will add on to our final exam as well.

Sighz... Tired and stress. All the best to me then. Bye guys..

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I will be strong...

Life has dealt me with many severe blows but yet, life goes on.

Yes. I do cry and feel weak but i know i have to move on. Life doesn't stop just there.

I will learn to stand on my own feet and be strong. I must be strong because there is no one here for me anymore except God and i think that is good enough.

Only He will never give up on me. Even people you trust most will eventually hurt you and just leave you alone when you need them the most.

Despite all the changes in my life, my relationship and work, i will prove to them that i can be strong and adapt to the changes.

There is no motive in my life anymore. I think i will manage to find one but for now, my goal is to do well in my studies so as not to disappoint myself.

I can only take a step at a time now. There is no point in planning for the future because the future always change.

There is no guarantee in anything. Things often change when you least expect it. I guess in this world, when there is no expectations, there will be no hurt.

I'm sick and tired of getting hurt again and again by people that you love and trust most.

Why are human beings so selfish and always thinking for themselves?

Maybe it's just me. I'm always thinking for others without thinking for myself. I need to learn to be selfish.

I need to start thinking for myself and not for others. I know it's be difficult for me to do it because it's just not my nature but i need to try.

I may hurt many in the event but i have no choice. I'm just human. I'm not wonder woman. I don't know how much more hurts and pains my heart can withstand before i totally break down.

I can only say currently i'm lucky to have a bunch of good teammates in class. They help me forget all my pains temporarily but i know i can't depend on them forever.

God will help me. He will save me. Will try to post something on a happier note next time.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Latest updates!

I've finally started on the course that i've long awaited for. Trying to cope with work, studies and RCIA course now.

Not gonna be easy but i believe i can do it. I will have lesser time to blog le. In fact, i'm getting kinda lazy to blog nowadays.

I have what they call writer's block. Although there are many things on my mind but i just don't know what to write or how to put it in words.

Guess i lost my interest in blogging for the time being. Haha.. Lazy me..

Anyway, been seeing lots of surveyors outside nowadays. Getting difficult to avoid them. They are basically saturated everywhere i go.

What's wrong man? Insurance company closing down is it? Got the need to send financial advisors everywhere to canvass anot?

It really irritates the shit out of me when they try to stop me especially when i'm rushing for time. Totally hate it!

I have nothing against insurance agents la. I have friends who are agents and i do buy from them if i can afford.

Maybe it's because i already have my preferred agent le so i really don't wanna stop and talk to some agent who are just wasting their time and mine as well.

Another thing now is that the new ez link card sucks big time. I have yet to exchange my old card but i feel that the thing of not having deposits sounds kinda sucky.

I've seen people not being able to go into the station just because their cards have less than $3. Makes them look so stupid and embarassing.

What happens if the person is taking bus instead of mrt? Where to top up card sia? Are 'they' gonna put a top up machine at every bus stop in Singapore?

Zzzzzzz... I admit i'm not a person with discipline but this is just so freaking lame. I ain't gonna change my card till the deadline is up man. Never!

I hope 'they' realise their mistake and change the cards back to what i'm using now thus causing all those kiasu people to curse and swear. Wahahahaha!!!

How evil i am.. But i know it's not gonna happen la. 'They' will never admit that it was a mistake to change it and start apologising la. 'They' are always right de.

That is the problem when you stay in Singapore. No freedom of speech. Whatever.. I'm too lazy to talk so much and get involved in rubbish political issues.

I'm feeling tired.. My eyes are half closed. Time for bed even though it's Saturday tomorrow. I don't give a damn. I just wanna rest in peace.

So long dear readers.. Adieus...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I know...

I should be updating my blog but i really haven't got the time.

I'm always brain dead when i'm home and the only thing i can think of is gaming which doesn't really require you to use alot of your brain cells.

Either that or i'm always outside catching the latest movie.

Nothing interesting has really been happening in my life anyway. Just work, work and work.

Apart from that, my life has been really great and i'm back to the happy person i am. I no longer feel miserable.

The only thing that upsets me is my work. My work life is a painful and stressful agony. Always on the verge of going crazy everyday.

The only way to destress is to play game and watch movie. I've been eating alot as well but just can't gain any weight. -_-!!

Sometimes i'm really amazed at how we humans are so strong. The way we can take all kind of shit going on in our lives.

Despite all the politics and unhappiness, we are always moving ahead in our lives, always looking forward to a beautiful day though it never usually comes when you want it. Kakaka..

No matter how unhappy or stress i am while working, i continue to go to work everyday even though sometimes i just wanna tear all my hair out. Haha..

Don't be surprise to see me bald someday on the streets. Latest fashion for the girls. Lol..

Ok la. Shall try to update more often. Now it's back to games and then to dreamland. Zzzzzzz... So freaking tired...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Happy Birthday to my dear Mel Mel too!

Lol.. Happy Birthday Valentino! Kakaka..

Thursday, February 5, 2009

CHAN FAMILY


Pyzam Family Sticker Toy

Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.




Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Lethargic...

My long leave is over and today is my 3rd day back at work.

My engine is still down. I'm still in holiday mood but there are so many things to do.

Everything is being thrown to me and whether i do it right or not i'll still get F for nothing.

Sighz... Life's like this i guess. Just gotta learn how to face it and adapt to all sort of changes.

Though i've settled whatever issues i have, i'm still feeling pretty insecure.

Afriad that whatever is precious to me will be gone 1 day no matter how much i treasure it.

I keep having this sinking feeling in my stomach because i have lost way too much things enough to make me paranoid.

It's gonna be a tough journey but i believe i can make it. Time will change everything. I'll still get the happiness i'm long awaiting for.

It's not easy but i still hope i can get the blessings of some people. This people can change my life tremendously and i definitely will appreciate it.

Haven't been sleeping enough during chinese new year. Everyone wants to cheat my money. Lol..

Staff annual dinner this coming friday. I hope it's good but i don't think so. Whoever heard of company dinner held in a community club?

Man... This sucks really badly. Whatever it is... It's time for lala land and here i come!!!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Not a very happy chinese new year...

I'm finally on my well deserved long break but so what?

Every one of my relatives is asking where my husband is and when i'm going to give birth when i went for visiting.

I told them i'm not married anymore and everyone thought i was joking.

Nobody knows how hurting it is for me to go through all this. Nobody...

Adding on to that, i was hurt badly once again by someone i loved deeply.

I don't know how long it's gonna take me to heal again. I can't stop my tears from flowing. Never thought this would happen to me again.

I feel so lost...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Happy 21st Birthday to Gracie!!!


She has finally grown up. All the best to you and your future my dear sista!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Extremely stress and tired...

Recently i've been so lethargic that i don't have time to blog at all.

All i think of when i reach home everyday is to sleep. Like total brain dead. Mentally drained.

I'm so stressed up at work that i've been experiencing chest pains and breathing difficulties.

While i'm still settling with 1 pile of work, here comes another pile. It's always like this. I can never finish my work.

Not to mention that i still need to support my BDEs with any urgent enquiries they may have.

My workload is getting heavier and heavier by the day but there's no increase in my pay.

I did try to ask but all i get was that i'm lucky to even have a job now that recession is coming which i think is quite true too.

Not that it helps with all the problems going on at home. I really feel like crying at times but i'm too tired to do it.

Haven't been sleeping well as well. I really need to learn how to relax but the problem is how to when troubles keep coming my way.

Not only that but nobody understands what i'm going through and constantly hurt me with harsh words.

I'm about to break down anytime still i think i may be able to take it.

Right now, i'm going for RCIA courses in short for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults.

It's a 1 year course and if everything goes well, i'll be baptised next year Easter. How cool is that?

Looking on the bright side, not everything seems so bad when i have God in my life.

Next week i'll be meeting a bunch of my old secondary school friends. It's been like 8 years since i saw them though i'm not that close to most of them.

Still, it would be great to see them again after so many years. I wonder if i'll still be able to recognise most of them.

They are all 1 year younger than me cause i stayed back. Those same age as me don't know all die to where le. Only some still in contact.

Feeling pretty excited but i'll have to go through another week of torture before meeting them.

Let's hope i don't die before that huh?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year 2009!!!

Last post for the year 2008.

My new resolution for year 2009 is to live my life to the fullest and my family to be happy together.

Forget the past and live happily for the beautiful future that is awaiting me.

May people who hurt me have an extremely lousy year.
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