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Sunday, July 11, 2010

Testing with iPhone

Test test.. If this works, I can blog anytime loh.. Hooray!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Some thoughts about my childhood

I remember when i was young and just entered primary school, there’s always the famous rumors about girl’s toilet being haunted right?

So stupid and naive me (back then ok??) believed it totally. Lol!

My mum at that time always used to take leave or she is not working i really can’t remember.

Anyway, she will always come to school during recess time to make sure i don’t get cheated of my allowance and of course fetch me after school.

So, there was once she came and after my recess i gotta go back to class. She told me she was going to the toilet before going back.

I immediately got worried and told her to be careful and told her about the stories i heard.

She told me not to worry and left.

Usually after school, she’ll be outside the school gates waiting for me.

But it was on this day that she decided to try to hide in a corner and see if i would how to go home on my own.

When i got out and i don’t see her, i waited for awhile as i thought she might be late but when she don’t appear after waiting for 5 mins, i was like my worst fears are confirmed.

I started bawling my head off in front of the school where many other parents and kids are looking at me.

Suddenly, my mum started to run out from the corner where she’s been hiding and when i saw her, i felt so relieved that i cried even more.

She came to me holding my arms and ask why am i crying?

In between my heavy sobs, i told her that i thought she was caught by the ghost in the girl’s toilet.

She laughed at what i just said and explained to me why she is hiding and then she brings me home.

It really does look funny when i think back about it. Kids those days are really naive. Kids this days. Hah! I don’t have to say much.

Sometimes i wonder what happened in between from then till now.

Ever since i learned how to talk back to my mum, our relationship has been going from bad to worst.

I miss those days when i was still a little kid and having my mum love and pamper me.

Even though we fight a lot, i still love my mum a hell lot. I know i would be extremely miserable if 1 day she is no longer here with me.

Treasure your loved ones while they are still around. =)

Does any of you have any funny childhood to share? Feel free to comment.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

She’s too damn good..

Monday, May 17, 2010

Constipation sucks!

I don’t have to say much. The title tells it all.

Been feeling constipated since last Wednesday. The pain only came in the middle of Saturday night when i’m supposed to wake up early the next day like 8am?

Promised my brother to go gym with him and after that we going to East Coast for some roller blading.

But i never got to going to this 2 places. I was already tearing with pain and perspiring with cold sweat all over my head.

Was suffering like mad and waiting for time to pass for the clinic to be opened at 9am.

On the way to the clinic, my friend was laughing at me saying my stomach look like i’m 3 months pregnant.

I told him it was full of air and shit. Ask him if he want any of it and he kept his mouth shut.

When i got to the clinic, there is already a long queue of people waiting to register.

I’m like wth? Sunday still so many people? Omg la. I’m gonna faint le.

LL take number and wait lor. Lucky tummy not so pain already but who knows, we waited for like an hour plus yet still not my turn.

I went outside to take breather and suddenly, the pain came again. It was extremely excruciating.

I sat down on the stairs clutching to my stomach and started to cry.

My friend was so pissed by then and he went in to the clinic and started screwing the staff there asking if they can let me go 1st.

So paiseh la but in the end, they had no choice but to let me in 1st else we gonna wait for don’t know how long liao.

I had a total of 5 different types of medication. 4 edible and 1 non-edible.

You guessed it! The non-edible medication is for stuffing up my ass to soften the hard like stone stools de. (*shy*) =p

The medications are super duper horrible tasting. Yucks!

After the 1st round, i had to beg my friend not to let me have the 2nd round. Think i will vomit everything out.

I went to the toilet secretly and stuff the thing up my ass. I waited for awhile and the feeling came.

I let out hell lots of shit you can’t possibly imagine. LOL!

Still, not all is out and i’m having constant tummyache and farting most of the time.

Now, i’m more like having diarrhea than constipation.

Wait..

The feeling is coming again. Gtg!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Frog leg porridge and desserts

I didn’t go for my interview today because i was too tired. Change it to tomorrow instead.

I swear never to step into Chinatown again but was being persuaded by my sister to go search for mahjong tiles there.

We had frog leg porridge at the famous porridge store in Chinatown.

I don’t know what i’m thinking or i’m still feeling groggy from too much sleep but i did something stupid.

My frog leg dropped on the floor and i actually picked it up with my chopstick, throw it back into my porridge and start eating it.

I know, i know. OMG! Ewwwwww…

Grace, Yvonne and Quan Khai were staring at me open-mouthed with shock.

All i could do was just look back at them and laugh like an idiot.

After that we went to look at mahjong tiles but didn’t buy any because too ex.

Then Yvonne said she wanted to treat us to desserts so we went to Bugis to have dessert.

SNC01066

This was the store we went to. I was dying to have my favourite peanut paste and peanut rice balls.

Buy, Yvonne came back informing me that they ran out of peanut paste le.

I was like utterly shocked and when i don’t get what i want i become very mean.

I was skeptical when she told me and i just blurted out loud.

Me: Wah lau eh! Now what time only? Run out? Cook 1 pot only ar? Don’t have don’t know how to cook again meh? Kaoz!

In the end, i had this:

SNC01068

Don’t know what Mango Sago shit thing with an ice cream in it.

Man.. Feeling so pissed and i’m still craving for peanut paste and peanut rice balls. I die die also must have it.

I’m not giving up so i went to the nearest dessert shop just across the street to see if they have it.

They do! So i ta pau 1 bowl back and here it is:

SNC01075

TADAH!

Yum yum! Not so nice actually after i have eaten it. Still prefer the store from Beach Road where all the army markets are.

The peanut is not so thick, just nice and soft and will really ooze out from the rice balls. The peanut paste is also superbly nice.

Really dying to have it again.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Interview

Just today, i receive a call to go for interview tomorrow. I don’t even remember when i actually applied for this job.

The thing is, the location is damn far. At Joo Chiat la! Crazy!!!

From Bukit Batok go there take how long man? The girl who called also funny.

She knows that i stay at Bukit Batok and she ask me if i can go for interview.

Of course i need to know where la correct? So i ask her for the address.

She told me the block number followed by Joo Chiat Road. I just woke up when she called so i was a little blur and shocked.

I was like, “Huh?” =p

Immediately she asked me if it is too far as Joo Chiat is near Geylang there le.

Nb! Of course far la. She asking stupid question.

Being the nice person i always am.

Ahem! I am ok? Don’t laugh and mock at me.

Anyway, i just agree to go. I told her i will be there. Go see see look look no harm right?

If they willing to offer the kind of ridiculous salary i’m asking for then maybe the distance is not such a big issue. Hehe..

But then again, with my current situation can i hold on to a full time job?

Sighz.. God Bless Me..

Monday, May 10, 2010

Jobless

Today is officially the day i become jobless AGAIN!

Got more time to blog loh. Like real..

Everyday at home 做管家婆.

Is SUPER sian one lor.

Zzzzzzzz…

Everyday do nothing expect making sure things are fine at home.

How long can this go on i wonder?

I’m already turning 27 this year and i have no so called achievement in life unless you regard being able to survive half a year with no job as an achievement.

I think i’m gonna be called a useless good for nothing soon.

What to do? What to do?

So damn sick of my life. God save me!!!

Maybe i should just become a full time blogger. What do you readers out there like to read?

Think i can try writing stories. Love stories? Horror stories? Comedy? No freaking idea!

Give some ideas or opinions please.

Anybody got any lobang for job? Part time also can. Let me know ok?

Thanks in advance! =)

Test test

Testing testing.. Testing my new windows live writer which makes blogging so much easier.

Time to publish!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Lost of loved ones is painful..

I know i haven't been blogging as often as i should be but i'm just too tired.

Recently, lots of things has happened. Even though love life is good but i'm so scared now. It seems as though people are slowly leaving me 1 by 1.

1st was the death of my dear friend Lawrence and now my only grandma from my father's side is gone.

Although i was there to see her breath her last but it's really heart breaking. It's even more heart breaking to see my dad upset.

He never got to see my grandma while she was in coma for the last time even though he did visit her while he was back and when she's still alert.

I went to fetch him early in the morning from the airport. He rushed back to see my grandma. I didn't know what to do as i couldn't control my tears as well.

My dad was walking towards the carpark when he suddenly choked on his own tears and started saying that he was an unfillial son.

I too burst out in tears. I don't know what i can do except to comfort him by telling him that at least he was in time to send her through her last journey. Some people don't even have the chance.

When we reached my aunt's house. Immediately, he went in and kneel down next to my grandma's dead cold body and cried.

I didn't stop him because i know that letting it out will do him good and it's his own mum after all.

No matter how much i dislike the things my mum do but i still do love her because she is my mum. I know i will be distraught if the day comes that she leaves us behind.

Grandma's wake was held under Auntie Iris's house and commenced for 5 days so i didn't go to work for 5 days. I wanna accompany my grandma for the last few days.

On the last day, the worst came. The thing we dreaded the most came. Time for grandma to leave us forever.

With no sleep at all, we proceeded with the prayers chanted by a monk and it was time to close the coffin.

We accompany grandma walk the last time and headed to the crematorium.

As the coffin proceeded slowly into the furnace, everyone broked down. The 1st time i saw all my uncles and aunties cry like there's no tomorrow.

My dad knelt down again while crying. My heart broke into pieces.

I then realized that even the toughest man can break down and cry facing the death of their loved ones no matter how tough they make themselves to be.

I don't know how well i will be able to handle my emotions when the day my parents leave me. I will most likely break down. I'm that emotional.

Whatever has happened we can't change. We can only accept the fact and face up to reality. Life goes on no matter what.

I believe that grandma is in a better place now. God will take good care of her till we meet again.

We love you ah ma! Goodbye!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Baptism

I finally got baptised on the day Jesus raise from his death. 03/04/2010 A day to remember.

It has a been a long awaited day since 1 year ago when I 1st joined RCIA.

Suddenly, it came and go. It felt a little unreal but in my heart, I know I am God's child forever.

When I went into the water, the feeling was hard to describe. I felt so good that I just wanted to shout out loud.

And when Brother Derrick baptised me by pushing my head into the water in the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, I felt myself changing. All my sins in the past are gone.

Poor Brother Derrick nearly got punched by me when I came out of the water with my fist in the air shouting YES! Hahaha..

The old Sheila is dead and raised to life together with Jesus is a new Sheila who is determined to change all her bad habits.

I'm so happy now that I have found my new found love who is there to see me get baptised and I'm 1 step closer to God's big family.

Very excited about the life I will be leading in the future. God will have his plans for me.

Our Father In Heaven
Hallowed Be Your Name
Your Kingdom Come
Your Will Be Done
On Earth As In Heaven
Give Us Today Our Daily Bread
Forgive Us Our Sins
As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us
Do Not Bring Us To The Test
But Deliver Us From Evil
Amen!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Love grouchy bus drivers..

Don't you simply love grouchy and bad tempered bus drivers that drives the morning peak hour bus?

That is if you are not the driver on the road la.

They shout at idiotic people who doesn't have a mind of their own to move further into the bus so others can get on.

They horn at every single car that refuse to give way or try to eat into their lanes.

I know it's irritating la but it sure feels good to be on time to work. My bus ride to work has never been faster.

In fact, i arrive earlier than expected. I still have time to buy breakfast wor. Too darn cool.

Kudos to the grouchy bus driver of Bus 963 travelling towards Harbourfront. Must write complimentary letter for you. =p

How i wish you are the one driving the bus i take every morning. Kekeke.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Heaven Knows

He's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes
He's everywhere I go
He's all I know
And though he's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now he's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let him go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love him,
You've gotta set him free
And if he returns in time
I'll know he's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let him go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know he's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Love will keep us alive

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When we're hungry love will keep us alive
Don't you worry
Sometimes you've just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now i've found you
There's no more emptiness inside
When we're hungry love will keep us alive
I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there's nothing i wouldn't do
Now i've found you
There's no more emptiness inside
When we're hungry love will keep us alive

How true is this? Can somebody tell me?

Monday, February 8, 2010

Horrible traffic and youngsters!

Arghhhhh!!! I cannot take it anymore. Singapore is congested with too many cars! No matter how early I wake up to catch the bus, I will still be late because of the stupid jam!

Shouldn’t ‘they’ do something about it? Like create bus lanes everywhere so that commuters don’t have to be caught in the jam together with reckless drivers who get into unnecessary accidents every now and then causing massive traffic jam and inconvenience to others.

I hate taking MRTs because you will get sandwiched and there will be morons around who will tend to try and take advantage of you and aunties like to take trains and they are extremely rude and barbaric!

What makes me most angry are people not giving up seats to those who need it more than them and by saying that, I do not mean for me ok? Don’t be so judgmental.

This morning I got on the bus as usual and as I move further in, there is this elderly man in front of me. He was holding a suitcase and it looks kind of heavy or maybe he just doesn’t have the strength because he’s already so old.

He needs to bend down slowly to put the suitcase in between his legs so they don’t fall and slowly bend up again.

Just as he was back into straight normal standing position, the bus jerked and he almost fell. There was this young girl sitting right below him and he nearly knocked into her.
This young girl’s reaction was to just glance up looking irritated and went back to messaging and smiling to herself.

Wah! I really feel like slapping her. I was thinking to myself at that point of time. “Ya! Message your boyfriend and smile some more. Wait till he ditches you, you will be crying and regret not giving up your seat.

Yeah yeah! I know. What has got giving up the seat anything to do with her being ditched by her boyfriend even if she has one.

I digress.

Angry people tend to talk lots of nonsense because their mind is clouded with anger right? Agree?

No?

Whatever.. I don’t really care.

Anyway, I was like staring at the girl without realizing it and finally she sensed it and looked at me. I had a conversation with her and it went like this:

Me: Eh.. Young girl.. You don’t know how to give up your seat to the elderly is it?

Young girl: ……………. (still staring at me)

Me: You handicapped huh? Or you don’t understand what I’m saying?

Young girl: ……………. (continues staring at me like I’m some kind of alien from outer space)

Me: Hello? (waves hand in her face)

Young girl: (pretend as though nothing happens and goes back into her stupid messaging and moronic smile)

Me: (burst into flames like this) --->



And felt like doing this to her. --->


I realize then that everyone in the bus was looking at us as though we are performing some kind of comedy.

Some looked amuse, some looked mildly horrified and some just awoke from their deep slumber looking as though they are sleeping beauties.

Yet, none bothered to give up their seats. Some were probably thinking. I said some but actually I think none but I would like to give them the benefit of doubt.

Some were probably thinking in their minds: “Ya! That’s right! Silly girl deserves it!” and then goes back to minding their own business without realizing that they are such assholes too.

The uncle looked at me with gratitude but otherwise said nothing else.

Why do I even bother? Arghhhhh.. I’m such a busybody! Why do I even let this idiots affect my life?

I swear I will never be a good Samaritan in my life anymore!

Sighz.. Say only la. I will never change. It’s just my character.

Maybe I should have used a different approach but I just simply cannot tolerate people like this who are so self-conceited and brainless.

Alright! I’m done with my blabbering and complaining with the shit I faced today.

It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow. A big big major event coming.

It’s time to sleep! Nitez everyone!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

符致逸 - 真的, 我沒事 / Adrian Fu - I Will Be Fine

For Andrew my dear friend.. Jiayou!

So so so sorry..

Omg la! I busy until i totally forget to blog again.

Damn! Must remind myself to blog whenever i can.

Been really busy with work and RCIA. Suffering from mental stress till i'm getting insomnia lately.

Really feel very tired but just can't get to sleep. The worst part is that i'm beginning to hear voices lately at night when i'm going to sleep.

Went to see a doctor but all the doctor can do is to prescribe me sleeping pills but the pills suck. It doesn't help at all. It doesn't even make me feel drowsy.

I can't be depending on sleeping pills all the time as well. I really need a good sleep.

Will somebody out there pray for me please?

I will blog more when i'm not so tired.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A story worth sharing 4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. Cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I
had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that
there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after
informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am
home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So
with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room,
skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just
having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and
warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the
'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet
and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged
straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a
good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short
explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not
back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you
reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around,
hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to
cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was
afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to
keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind! you 'cos I was
playing with my toys... I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks... but I didn't
want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried
with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went
towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while
coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed.
When every thing was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room,
and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock,
but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to
focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most
of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from
kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression
on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time,
his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from
school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain.
But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name
and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing
computer games.. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of
him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'.

But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized
by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the
reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten
has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to
himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure,
would make my wife proud, if she was still around 'cos he makes me proud
too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. Its
winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in
every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my
son got into another trouble.

When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the
post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an
edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several
letters with no addressee.

Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help
but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control.
Once again, as before, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Dad" and no additional
reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office
to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily
questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask
him: "But why did you post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply
was: "I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach
out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post
the letters. But recently, when I went back to the post box, I could reach
it and I sent it all at once."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to
say....

I told my son, "Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you
have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My
son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was
sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf,
I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letters before
they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the
school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did
not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was
afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went
around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of
the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was
furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell
him the real reason.

Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is
so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very,
very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to
forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your
face and remember you?

I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you
miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you
appear?

After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing, 'cos I can never replace
the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some
kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.
Feedback to your boss.

Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care
of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little
precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even
business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are tot ally
dependent on you? Or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this
society, no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious
and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other
things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let
your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more
than your well being.
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