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Friday, April 30, 2010

Lost of loved ones is painful..

I know i haven't been blogging as often as i should be but i'm just too tired.

Recently, lots of things has happened. Even though love life is good but i'm so scared now. It seems as though people are slowly leaving me 1 by 1.

1st was the death of my dear friend Lawrence and now my only grandma from my father's side is gone.

Although i was there to see her breath her last but it's really heart breaking. It's even more heart breaking to see my dad upset.

He never got to see my grandma while she was in coma for the last time even though he did visit her while he was back and when she's still alert.

I went to fetch him early in the morning from the airport. He rushed back to see my grandma. I didn't know what to do as i couldn't control my tears as well.

My dad was walking towards the carpark when he suddenly choked on his own tears and started saying that he was an unfillial son.

I too burst out in tears. I don't know what i can do except to comfort him by telling him that at least he was in time to send her through her last journey. Some people don't even have the chance.

When we reached my aunt's house. Immediately, he went in and kneel down next to my grandma's dead cold body and cried.

I didn't stop him because i know that letting it out will do him good and it's his own mum after all.

No matter how much i dislike the things my mum do but i still do love her because she is my mum. I know i will be distraught if the day comes that she leaves us behind.

Grandma's wake was held under Auntie Iris's house and commenced for 5 days so i didn't go to work for 5 days. I wanna accompany my grandma for the last few days.

On the last day, the worst came. The thing we dreaded the most came. Time for grandma to leave us forever.

With no sleep at all, we proceeded with the prayers chanted by a monk and it was time to close the coffin.

We accompany grandma walk the last time and headed to the crematorium.

As the coffin proceeded slowly into the furnace, everyone broked down. The 1st time i saw all my uncles and aunties cry like there's no tomorrow.

My dad knelt down again while crying. My heart broke into pieces.

I then realized that even the toughest man can break down and cry facing the death of their loved ones no matter how tough they make themselves to be.

I don't know how well i will be able to handle my emotions when the day my parents leave me. I will most likely break down. I'm that emotional.

Whatever has happened we can't change. We can only accept the fact and face up to reality. Life goes on no matter what.

I believe that grandma is in a better place now. God will take good care of her till we meet again.

We love you ah ma! Goodbye!

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I finally got baptised on the day Jesus raise from his death. 03/04/2010 A day to remember.

It has a been a long awaited day since 1 year ago when I 1st joined RCIA.

Suddenly, it came and go. It felt a little unreal but in my heart, I know I am God's child forever.

When I went into the water, the feeling was hard to describe. I felt so good that I just wanted to shout out loud.

And when Brother Derrick baptised me by pushing my head into the water in the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, I felt myself changing. All my sins in the past are gone.

Poor Brother Derrick nearly got punched by me when I came out of the water with my fist in the air shouting YES! Hahaha..

The old Sheila is dead and raised to life together with Jesus is a new Sheila who is determined to change all her bad habits.

I'm so happy now that I have found my new found love who is there to see me get baptised and I'm 1 step closer to God's big family.

Very excited about the life I will be leading in the future. God will have his plans for me.

Our Father In Heaven
Hallowed Be Your Name
Your Kingdom Come
Your Will Be Done
On Earth As In Heaven
Give Us Today Our Daily Bread
Forgive Us Our Sins
As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us
Do Not Bring Us To The Test
But Deliver Us From Evil
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