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Sunday, January 9, 2011

A brand new start of a brand new life in a brand new place…

I think i have disappeared far long enough. Time to get my lazy bum off the couch and start writing again.

Been too caught up in my life and stupid iphone games. Bah!

A good friend once told me that i inspired him to blog so how can i stop blogging right? Must continue to be his role model. LOL!

Ok. About the title. Hmmmm.. Where shall i start?

Before i start, there’s something i gotta blog about. My ex father-in-law passed away on the night of 30th Dec 2010.

It came as a shock to me as i never ever thought that he will leave the world so soon.

I went down to the funeral and it was really heart breaking to see my ex mother-in-law so sad and eyes swollen.

I couldn’t help but cry too. I felt very sad that i didn’t get to see him or talk to him before he left. It was so sudden.

Regardless of whatever has happened in the past, we were still once a family, living under the same roof.

He’s gone in a short 2 years after i left that home. Till now, i still find it hard to believe.

Please treasure the ones you love. You never know what will happen the next day. I pray that he is resting in peace now.

Now, my story…

Alot has been happening at home. So much so that i find it hard to breath at times.

Office is the only escape i have until i decided to just pack up and leave.

I truly believe i don’t have to say much for you guys out there who have been following my blog to know what happens in my home.

Yes. Many times i have said i wanted to move out but never done so till now.

Things have been so drastic that i had to make this decision which i hope i won’t regret.

It’s gonna be temporary though. I hope things change for the better and i can go home.

It hurts me to think of why my mum is treating me the way she did. Am i not born by her?

Just what have i done to make her hate me so much? Why is it always me? Just because i tell her she’s wrong?

I’m now staying out all on my own. It gets pretty scary and it’s a huge challenge for me.

I have to do everything on my own. I have to start thinking for myself. There is no comfort of knowing that whatever happens i can always hide at home.

I know it’s going to be real tough but i have to try. I need to be independent.

After moving out, i come to realize how dependent i have been on others when friends always see me as a strong and independent girl.

Initially, i felt lost, homesick and cried while i sleep but slowly i start to regain my confidence in making this decision.

I have to stay positive. I’m kinda like on a survival course now.

Daddy was pretty upset about me moving out and stuff. Called me from overseas and kept saying it was his fault.

I didn’t want to upset him at all. It has never been my intention to upset him. I just wanted to try live my life on my own.

I know that someday my closed ones will leave me 1 by 1. Eventually, i’ll still be all alone and on my own.

I don’t wanna wait till that time comes where i will be totally lost again.

I need to train myself up now. I think i will be fine. I need all the support i can get now.

Will update more soon. Take care peeps!

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