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Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sometimes

I wonder if you love me as much as you claim you do.

I'm sure you do.

But.

Sometimes I wonder if you made the right choice to be with me.

You would probably say yes too.

But.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm your source of motivation or am I just holding you back from where you should be in your career.

You would most likely deny that too and assure me I am not.

But.

I'm sorry. I cannot stop feeling that I am more of a burden to you than help.

Everytime, I try to think positively. Yet, I'm being proven wrong again and again as time goes by. It's kinda depressing.

I know you told me to never give up on us no matter what happens.

Of cause, I love being by your side. I'm struggling very hard to do my best to hold on to your hands tightly.

But.

Sometimes, I feel so tired I wanna just let go and give up.

Give up on our love.

Give up on everything we been thru.

Give up the times spent together.

Give up on the happy and sad times we had.

Give up every single memory of you that ever exists.

Maybe, you are thinking the same as me but just unable to tell it straight to me.

Maybe, I'm thinking too much.

Just maybe.

I'm too sensitive for my own good.

I just want the best for you without me being your distraction and holding you back from where you should be.

Forgive me for the decision I'm about to make.

I'm really sorry.

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