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Saturday, January 28, 2017

So tired

I'm tired of the relationship I'm in. I wanna end it so badly. I don't feel the love at all. If there is no love then what is the point to continue in it?

I just don't get it. In the beginning, he found Naomi so adorable and love her so much. But as time goes by, he changed. He finds her irritating and annoying.

Why do people change so quickly? I really believe that he is the one but in the end all I get is disappointment.

He has lost all tolerance for Naomi and me. If he doesn't have the patience in handling a child then why did he choose to be with me?

It is so heart breaking but I have reached my limit. He chose 2 happy occasions to quarrel with me. Christmas and Day 1 of Chinese New Year. I tried not to shout but he kept shouting at me.

I'm trying very hard not to cry because it is believed to be unlucky to cry on the 1st day on CNY but my heart hurts so much. I seriously doubt if we can last any longer. Hatred is building slowly within me.

If I continue to be with him and someday get married, I'm afraid that all this unpleasant things that happen may someday explode and we end up getting a divorce. I don't know what to do anymore.

On 1 hand, I'm scared of Naomi's feelings and reaction if he is gone. On the other hand, I simply cannot compromise to continue being with him when I'm not happy. I don't know what to do anymore.

It is so hurting to hear Naomi say that she doesn't like daddy when he is reacting like this. I know she loves him too but whenever he acts this way she dislikes him because it scares her. Doesn't he realize that he is hurting her too?

There are so many ways to teach a child. Why can't he understand this point? If he can't handle her then let someone else who has more persuasive power to do it. Is there really a need to get mad?

I'm just so upset and heart broken right now. I hope I have an answer when CNY is over. Right now, I just want peace and harmony within the family.

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