Showing posts from December, 2008

Ultimate Stress...

Lately, alot has been happening at home. It had been a very unhappy Christmas.

I have lots of mixed feelings within me. Sad, disappointed, shocked, betrayal, cheated, denial.

All i wanted was someone close to me who can understand me and go thru all this trials of tough times with me but apparently, there is none.

I wanna end all this unhappiness once and for all but it's not within my means to do so.

Sometimes i wonder why i have to go thru all this unneccessary mental stress. It's very unhealthy for me.

I only have 1 answer to that. I have to learn to be strong so as to overcome everything. Instead of mentally breaking down, i become stronger.

I believe that my happiness is out there waiting for me. I have to fight to get out from the maze of unhappiness and my happiness will be there waiting for me.

The day will come. I just have to endure for now. God will give me my well deserved happiness.

Merry Christmas!!!

Let's Sing together everybody~~~~
Latest Christmas carol for 2008..

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town !

Holiday Mood..

Christmas is just round the corner. I'm already in the holiday mood but i'm not really that excited abt Christmas celebration.

Many things has been going on around me and trapping me in a small space till i can't breath at all.

I feel so miserable at times but nobody knows. I'm only good at doing my job well and keeping things to myself.

I know that certain memories can only be kept in my heart. Those memories are in the past and will never come back again.

All that is left are just lies. Blatant lies and fake promises. Beautiful things just don't last long enough for you to enjoy.

In a snap of the finger and it's gone. *Poof!* Just like this and we are thrown back into reality which is harsh and realistic.

It's a cruel world out there. I can only find peace in God's presence. Only HE can give me the strength to carry on.

I'm so afraid of losing my mind or i might have really lost it that i actually bought a hamster for my brother when he requested it.


Horrible experience

Last night on my way home, i encounter a horrible experience. A malay guy walk up towards me and ask me where i'm going.

He was smiling pervertly to me. I ignored him and just continue walking feeling abit scared and thinking if i should look for help.

I never expected that he would actually walk 1 big round just to catch me at the entrance of the lift grinning pervertly at me again.

I really got a nasty shock to see him there but i was really lucky as there's a auntie there already waiting for a lift.

That stupid pervert malay guy walk away in disappointment. I quickly went into the lift with the auntie and told her what happened.

She said i was really lucky that she too just got back and she also said that she have never seen this guy around before.

I thank God and the auntie for saving me in time. If it was just me and the guy, who would have known what would happen.

It really freaked me out totally bringing back alot of bad memories of the past when i was young.

I was shivering wh…


Sorry for not blogging for such a long time. Don't feel like blogging at all.

Might be ignoring this blog for an even longer period of time till i get my things settled.

Alot is going through my mind and i'm having a hell lot of mixed emotions right now. I feel sad, angry, dejected and confused.

I'm at the point of breaking out into tears soon. I'm really just a simple girl who just wants to be happy. Why do i have to suffer all this mental torture?

I've been thinking of doing something but i'm still holding back. I don't know what is wrong with me.

I only know that things are gonna turn very ugly but that's the only way i can bring peace to myself.

I'm not superwoman. I'm human and i have feelings. People just keep doing things to hurt me. I keep seeing things that i don't wanna see.

I don't wanna fall back into darkness again but here i am struggling for my life and my own happiness all by myself.

There's no one to help me. All alone by my…